by Z Weber
Wildcats, I’m here reporting some breaking news. During our last rehearsal for High School Musical, FBI agents rained from the ceiling of our precious new theater–one even landing on top of star Eli Moore–and arresting beloved theatre teacher and director Mrs. Wallace. But the strangest part was that every FBI agent wore Mickey Mouse ears, and a man in a Mickey Mouse costume said, in a squeaky voice, “Disney has flagged Battle Ground Academy’s production of High School Musical as an illegal use of copyrighted content!” Some students gasped, others ran in fear, one even fainted. The event was one that will go down in history, and none of us will ever forget. Upon further inspection, I learned why these mouse-eared agents had taken the soul of our BGA theatre department.
It all started in the summer of 2021 when Mrs. Wallace was trying to buy access to fair use of the High School Musical show, when she suddenly discovered that the BGA Theatre budget had been cut in half! She could only afford one show, so naturally she purchased the rights to the fall play first, thinking she could figure out the musical later. The reason for the budget cut? BGA administration had decided to use the money for more paint markers to be used on the windows of the student lounge, aiming to increase school spirit through positive messages instead of the performing arts. Sadly, no such budget was ever replenished to make up for the spring musical, so Mrs. Wallace had to take matters into her own hands. Did she find an illegal free version online? Break into Disney’s headquarters and steal scripts? No, she just called one of her many friends in the theater business and borrowed their material, then made her own copies to distribute to the talent. As for the music, she used free karaoke versions of songs easily accessible on YouTube. However, this plan did not pan out as intended.
In late February of this year, an undercover Zac Efron was snooping around the corners of the world wide web, missing his glory days as hotty basketball player Troy Bolton, star of the High School Musical series. Through his tears and reminiscing, he stumbled upon a video of one of BGA’s rehearsals, only to find that they were using scripts that were homemade! Knowing that this must be illegal, and not out of spite for growing old, he called Mickey Mouse to report the incident and suggested the mouse and company look into our humble theater department. Suddenly, Mickey’s nose started twitching, he could smell a lawsuit and a big payout for himself coming. And after yelling at the Disney FBI team in his piercing screech, they got on their Disney private jet and flew straight to BGA. The rest is history. It is said that the mouse originally sued Mrs. Wallace for $300 billion so he could surpass Elon Musk as the richest man in the world, but it was later lowered, causing an angry Mickey. I was denied a comment from the BGA administration on the theater budget cut incident, but there haven’t been any new colors appearing on the windows of the student lounge lately. As for now, we are planning on doing the Government Inspector and writing our own songs for the spring musical since it’s the only show we have access to legally at the moment. We still have hope for the future of our department, and more importantly Mr.s Wallace’s escape–I mean bail.
echodailyorg.news 
Leave a comment