Global Concentration Disbanded Because Earth is Flat 

By Tanvi Chaudhary

In a shocking turn of events, the Global Studies concentration at BGA has been abruptly canceled after a groundbreaking revelation that the Earth is, indeed, flat. The decision came after a group of students and faculty stumbled upon what they claim to be “irrefutable evidence” supporting the controversial theory. The discovery was made by a group of students on the recent choir trip to New York. According to eyewitness accounts, as the group ventured to the outskirts of the city, they encountered a sheer drop-off into oblivion, with nothing but vast emptiness stretching into the horizon.

The Global Studies concentration, known for fostering an ethos of global citizenship and encouraging students to explore the interconnectedness of the world, has been a promising addition to BGA’s academic offerings. However, with this newfound understanding of our planet’s shape, the program’s entire premise has been called into question.

“We simply cannot continue to promote global thinking when the very foundation of our curriculum is now under scrutiny,” argues Ms. Roberts. “It’s a paradigm shift that we never saw coming.”

In light of this revelation, students who were enrolled in the concentration as well as several faculty and staff who teach classes that fulfill the concentration, have been left in limbo, unsure of how to proceed with their academic pursuits.

“It’s a shame, really,” muses Coach Hackett. “But perhaps it’s time for us to explore other avenues of study…maybe Astronomy?”

As the school grapples with the implications of this newfound knowledge, one thing remains certain: the world may not be as round as we once thought, but the pursuit of knowledge knows no bounds.